I'll be remembering you

Red stain

2010-02-14T08:15:00.011+08:00

"Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap."

- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Go celebrate while I sleep the whole day.

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Photo by:

OneOfIllusions

"My Valentine"

Abstinence

2010-01-26T20:39:00.003+08:00

"We always long for the forbidden things."

-Francois Rabelais

Not doing it makes me wanna do it more.

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Photo by:

burgersauce

"Crave..."

Hush

2010-01-06T07:41:00.004+08:00

"It is wise to disclose what cannot be concealed."

-Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

I've been adding many skeletons in my closet that it won't fit anymore.

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Photo by:

chelseaaa

"calling all skeletons"

Twenty Ten

2010-01-01T10:07:00.009+08:00

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”

- Oprah Winfrey

Happy New Year!

May all your secrets be revealed this year.

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Photo by:

Mazuna

"Welcome 2010"

That ONE Song

2009-12-30T14:13:00.004+08:00

Just when you thought you're strong enough to move on, you'll suddenly hear that particular song.

And you'll remember the face.

The face you're trying to forget.

And it'll hurt.

You'll feel the ache.

And you're vulnerable once again.

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Photo by:

Simple0ona

"The songs are about you"

Kiss Me Under a Mistletoe

2009-12-18T09:12:00.005+08:00

"This is the part where you sing I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."

I just wanna know how it feels.

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Photo by:

EmersonStem

"M i s t l e t o e"

Lead Me Not

2009-12-10T19:54:00.005+08:00

"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. "

It's hard to stay clean when there's mud all over the place.

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Photo by:

catch-a-falling-star

"Missouri Mud"

I Used to Walk Over the Clouds. I Will Once Again.

2009-12-07T07:40:00.017+08:00

"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."

I'm done being a desperate, hopeless, emotional, stupid, pathetic, weak, gullible 19-year old guy.

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Photo by:

anderton

"Cryptonite Man"

The Third Year Thing

2009-11-30T11:48:00.006+08:00

Dear Fire Works,

I'm sorry, I don't think I'd be able to keep my promise.

I would probably watch you on the 18th alone. As always.

(Well, okay, I wouldn't be really alone since I'm sure my friends would be there beside me during your show.

But you get what I mean.)

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Photo by:

evilneil

"Fire Works 2"

Run away

2009-10-21T14:33:00.003+08:00

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."

another minute spent thinking about you.

i just want my thoughts of you to stop.

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Photo by:
ChaosBang
"The Tired Writer"

I am an Island

2009-09-18T17:56:00.004+08:00

"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world [...] Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one."

- One Tree Hill

I'm so tired of being alone.

Where are you?

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Photo by:
valyeszter
"Alone"

The flames of my candles are dying

2009-08-20T15:25:00.007+08:00

Sometimes I wish i had never met you. Because then i could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.
- Good Will Hunting

I can't do this anymore.

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Photo by:
Mystic200
"Dead End"

Hello Wednesday!

2009-08-14T11:34:00.006+08:00

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

I will no longer hold my words.
I will no longer keep my secret.

I want you.

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Photo by:
Tracie76
"Speak Your Mind"

When life starts to change big time

2008-12-09T21:47:00.009+08:00

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
- Arnold Bennett

It's been quite a long time since I last posted an entry here. I never even thought that I would be here again, sitting in front of my computer, wanting to relive the things that had happened over the last 8 months of my life. And to tell you honestly, I miss blogging.

Before I start storytelling about my life here, I would first want to let you know that I was (and still am, actually) really, really surprised to see how much things had changed here (the blog-o-sphere, I mean). The first thing I noticed is that, those bloggers that I used to know changed how they write. Some changed from writing life stories to just posting poems and photos- which made me not interested anymore. Another thing is, most of the links on my blogroll no longer exist. Oh boy! That is truly sad. I miss reading their beautifully written blogs. They used to inspire me. I’m now hoping that they just changed their blog URLs and I would be able to find their blogs once again.

Talking about changes, I too had experience and still is experiencing a lot of them in my life since last summer up to now. Let me enumerate them:

1. I didn't attend summer classes (which I should have attended) but instead chose to go to Singapore so that I could relax and forget all about the bad things that had happened- which made me an irregular student for the rest of my college life.

2. I auditioned for Teatro Tomasino, the University-wide theater guild in UST, and was given the name YOO for some reason I don't want to tell anymore because it was a dumb story (seriously). I was then asked to join their first major production for this year as a part of their requirements for membership. Eventually, I got assigned to be both an Assistant Stage Manager and an actor to the play "Fuente Ovejuna" directed Mr. Dennis Marasigan – which gave me sleepless nights, no time to study, and made me went home late (around 1-2 AM). But don't get me wrong, the experience I had is still unforgettable and amazing.

3. I quitted participating in Teatro Tomasino's production. (Does failing Calculus not a good reason enough?)

4. I lost my best friend in a My-Best-Friend's-Wedding-kind of way (except for the "wedding" part). Gotta start singing "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall, I guess.

NOTE: I'll just blog this stuff next time 'cause I don't feel like telling it now. I guess I’m still not over her.

5. I did something horrible that I never thought I could ever do in my entire life. And you know what? It made me unable to function for a week.

6. I'm not that optimistic anymore.

7. I feel more alone these days.

8. I don't think I write as good as I used to.

Changes... changes... changes...

Those things I have mentioned are just a part of the looooong list. Unfortunately, most of those are not so good changes. But then I wonder, don't all of those changes also made me a much stronger person? Did they happen because I needed to learn something? And, don't I deserve those changes?

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Photo by:
Aksicnn
"Green Green Grass"

Treasured Experience

2008-12-09T21:12:00.008+08:00

September 30, 2008

"There's no substitute for experience."

Fuente Ovejuna (Teatro Tomasino's First Major Production this year) had already ended last night. And man! The feeling that it gave me was priceless.

I never really expected it to be that fun. It gave me that nice feeling i never had since I returned in school. We rehearsed the play for almost three months and I can say that the result is really, really worth it.

I used to say that maybe I won't ever love Teatro as much as the other members already do. I also used to wonder why they stay/ed in an organization when all it gives you are stress, depression and sleepless nights. But then, yesterday, I understood. I now know why many Teatro members love and sacrifice almost everything for it.

To our director, Sir Dennis Marasigan, thank you so much for the lessons you taught us. Thank you so much for bringing out the best in us. We will truly never forget you. Because of you, we are now not just better actors and actresses but also better persons. Thank you so much for the love that you showed us.

To Ate JS, I would like to thank you for teaching us the value of work and time. Thank you for teaching us the importance of keeping our promises and how to be punctual (the hard slap you gave me is really unforgettable. haha)

To Kuya Owa, my head, our Stage Manager, thank you for teaching us the importance of sacrifice. Thank you for the late-night meetings we had, i enjoyed every bits of it. Thank you too for being a true person.

To the whole production staffs, thank you for the wonderful and memorable production. I truly enjoyed it. We worked so hard and the result, like what i said, is worth it.

I love you people! I love TEATRO TOMASINO! :]

Trust me, this is true

2008-04-29T12:14:00.004+08:00

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."

- George MacDonald

I was watching a TV series earlier and there was this scene where the two leads are on the top of a building, standing on the edge as if they were going to jump off. The scene suddenly changed, showing the two leads embracing each other, moving slowly to avoid any unwanted circumstances that might happen (like falling off the building). So yeah, you can call it a romantic moment. However, my mind is not on that lovely view (as some might call it) but on to that thought that they might actually fall if they'll just move one more step onto that edge. I'm acrophobic so that scene was honestly breathtaking for me. I was scared to death as if I'm one of the leads there. And then I wondered, how did they manage to do such scene. Why did they allow themselves to do a life-threatening act? But eventually, I was also the one who answered my question. I told myself that surely they trust each other that no one between them will ever do a crazy move while standing up there. And most probably, they also trusted their director whom they know will never let anything bad happen to them. So there, I realized that it was all about trust. Trust which made two people do something acrophobic folks are afraid of.

"When mistrust comes in, love goes out."

-Irish Sayings

Survivor, which for me is one of the greatest reality shows that were ever made, deals greatly about trust. In that game, trust is something you should not easily give since it may cause you to get voted off the game. In the other hand, it can also be one of the reasons that could make you win the title of being the "sole survivor". Because of this, many contestants find it hard to choose whether they would trust someone or not. Though many still decides to try and believe that it is the best thing to do.

Last Friday's episode of Survivor is a clear example of giving out trust to someone who doesn't deserve it. Jason, the person I was rooting to win, got voted off the show. He too, like Ozzy, got blindsided thinking that Natalie was his trusted alliance. Again, another great player got outwitted.

It was both nice and stupid for Jason to trust her. Nice since he gave her a chance of being trusted though he barely knows her. And stupid 'cause he didn't learn any lesson from Ozzy's experience.

With what Ozzy and Jason experienced, I now wonder how many times in our lives we actually have done the same thing; trusting people who in return just cause us to regret our decision of giving them our trust.

"Trust no one unless you have eaten much salt with him."

-Cicero

I was in fourth year high school when I experienced being back stabbed by the people I once trusted. I never really thought they could tell everybody something I trusted them not to tell. It was awful. Though I must say that it hurt me a lot, I still forgave them for what they have done. But of course, something must change. After that, I told myself not to trust anyone easily anymore unless he/she truly deserves it.

"Love all, trust a few."

-William Shakespeare

Trust is a beautiful thing. It's what people mostly need in this unsure life. Once it's lost, you can hardly give or acquire it again. Trust people who you know will always be there for you, who will never let you go no matter what. And in return, never fail someone who trusts you so much.

Photo by:

Hoplesss
"Hold me BRO"

Unscripted

2008-04-18T20:51:00.007+08:00

One thing I love about summer is that I could watch every TV show and movie that I missed during school days. It’s pretty much the best time for a couch potato to do his thing from morn ‘til night.

Though some people think that it is dumb to waste your time watching TV shows and movies, I still do believe that it helps me a lot. Those shows inspire me. They entertain me. Especially reality shows.

In line with this entry, I would like to post here two of the reality shows that’s quite addictive for me: Survivor and American Idol.

I can say that this season, Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs Favorites, is one of my favorite Survivor installments. I never really thought it would interest me and make me go craving for another episode since the last two seasons didn't fascinate me that much. But surprisingly as the show goes on, it's becoming more and more interesting.

The only thing that sucks now is that two of my top favorites, Jonathan Penner and Eliza Orlins, already left the show. Jonathan was removed due to a said to be fatal injury that he got during an immunity challenge and Eliza got voted off for having a weak alliance and for playing the fake idol Ozzy made.

But anyway, there's still Jason and Amanda whom I can root for. Jason since he is more likely the nicest guy in the game now and because he has a great potential on winning immunity challenges. Also, he was the last alliance of Eliza who is, like what I said earlier, my favorite gal in this season. And Amanda because she is loyal and honest.

Honestly right now, I'm really, really ecstatic. I think this week is the best week in Survivor Micronesia since Oscar "Ozzy" Lusth got finally voted out. YEAH! Even though he had the real idol, he wasn't able to play it since he thought he was safe. Meaning, he got blindsided. And this is because of Parvati's great plan, though I must admit that I also don't like her because she's the reason why Eliza got voted off. Well anyway, (just for now) hurrah to Parv!

Ozzy at first is really cool. As a matter of fact, I was a fan of him during the start of this season. He used to be a great guy; he's strong, smart and played the game very well. However, as time went by, he became obnoxious and arrogant. I also recently found out that he did porn for playboy before which... made me really not a fan of him anymore.

Now, I'm really excited what would happen and who would go next week. I'm guessing it'll be James for he is a big threat. But i don't know, maybe they'll gonna surprise us again and vote somebody whom we don't expect to be voted off.

Aside from Ozzy being voted out, another thing that made this week a "great reality show" week is that Kristy Lee Cook (at long last) got eliminated. Yehey!

I honestly don't hate Kristy but I just don't want her to stay longer there now. I just think that the others who got eliminated deserve to stay longer than she did. Especially Michael Johns. And talking about Michael... Oh man! I was really shocked and surprised when I read from Yahoo! that Michael got eliminated. Michale Johns elimination was as surprising as Clay Aiken and Chris Daughtry's.

With only six contestants left, it's quite hard to choose among them for they are all good. But I guess I'm into Brooke White, Carly Smithson and David Cook since I believe they have the greatest, unique voices this season.

Photo by:
Prawninator
"Potato"

Our search for Happiness

2008-03-31T20:52:00.032+08:00

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same."

-Anne Frank

One thing I'm very sure about people is that, everyone in this world wants to be happy. Of course we do. Who doesn't? We usually do every possible way to find that happiness that will make our lives better and more colorful. We try new things, make new things or look for new things.

However, sometimes we do unnecessary things that we think are the best to feel happy although the truth is, they will just drown us into the depths of disappointment and sorrow. Also, there are times in our lives when we, ourselves, are the one who do not realize that we could actually feel happy every time... if we just allow ourselves to.

In our Guidance Office in school, there is a wall where you could write anything (by using post-its) that would make you happy. I think it's made so that we could actually think about what we really want in our lives. And by knowing what those are, we could eventually think of present and future actions that we need to make in order for those things to happen. I can't exactly remember what I wrote in there for the first time but I think it's shallow since I took it off away after a few weeks. But after that, I wrote there again something that at least much better than the first. I wrote, "Finding my Princess". As a result, our Guidance Adviser asked me if I already found her. But obviously I said I still haven't since that's the truth. Then my classmates looked at me. They were surprised to read something like that from me. Yeah, I don't really talk about that thing. I mean, love. Well, I do talk about it but only occasionally. But that time, I guess I just really wrote there the truth. That finding my future eternal companion will make me happy.

"How many times do we look for our happiness at a distance in
space or time rather than right now, in our own homes, with our own families and friends."
-James E. Faust

Have you ever heard the story about Ali Hafed? The man who used to be one of the wealthiest Persian but sold all his possessions because of his search for a precious gem?

The story goes like this…

There was a man named Ali Hafed. He owned many lands in Persia. He was really wealthy and rich. He also has a lovely family that makes him feel everything is perfect in his life.

One day, there was an old priest who came and spoke to Ali. He told Ali that if he'll be able to find a diamond as big as his thumb in a river full of white sands, he will surely get richer.

So, Ali then sold all his possessions to travel around the world to look for that diamond and even left his family with his neighbor's care.

Ali traveled for many years but was unable to find what he was looking for. He suffered a lot of pain and suffereings during his travel.

Meanwhile, the man whom bought Ali's lands went walking with his camel one day to Ali's old garden. While letting his camel to drink in the stream, he suddenly was surprised to see something glittering below the water. He reached for it and saw a very beautiful gem. Later, it was revealed that it was the gem Ali was looking for all his life.

If only Ali didn't travel around the world and sold his possession, he could have been more rich and wealthy than before.

The story tells us much about what's happening in our world today. Sometimes, we try to look for something far from us just to achieve the happiness we want. Unfortunately, what we don't realize is that, the things that could actually make us feel the true happiness are already in front of us. These are our family, our friends, and the gospel and love of God.

"Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God"

-Joseph Smith

Since the beginning of time, God has this wonderful plan for all of us. He calls it the Plan of Happiness. But because of our choices, we often times do not receive the blessings of this said plan. Now, what we should only do is to direct ourselves in the right path in order to gain that happiness. And this is by being obedient to the commandments of the Lord.

"The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of
everything. They just make the best of everything."

-Martin Seligan

Being happy isn't really that hard. In fact, there are lots of things that could make us feel the joy. Some of these are just simple things like being with the people we love, seeing the innocent faces and smiles of babies, listening to uplifting music, praying every time and feeling that God is always there to guide us and help us and many more.

We don't need to be one of the most successful men or women in history just to be happy. We just need to be optimistic and appreciate the littlest things.

See the best in everything. Make the best in everything as the quote above says. If we do these, we will surely adore life.

Like the cliche goes, happiness is a choice. It's only we who could help ourselves be happy whatever life brings.

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Photo by:
MotyPest
"Laugh and Tears"

Beautiful, with or without them

2008-03-14T07:52:00.011+08:00

"There are always challenges at every stage in our life, overcoming them is what life is all about"

- Dr. N. Sai Bhaskar Reddy

I bet nobody could ever say that life is easy. Because in fact, life is pretty much full of trials, problems, temptations and hardships. And often times, we find ourselves confuse and troublesome for what life brings.

As we get older, we realize that life is not all about candies, toys and cartoons. That every day won't be a sunny day. And that crying is really not the best solution if we want something.

Life is really not simple as we thought it was. However, life is also not that difficult especially if we do our best in everything we do.

"Life kicks you around sometimes. It scares you and it beats you up. But there's one day when you realize you're not just a survivor. You're a fighter. You're tougher than anything life throws your way. And you are."

- One Tree Hill

It has been said that there's always something that could ruin the moments in our lives. But I guess it's still in our hands if we're going to allow it to destroy us. We always have the power to be joyful, even if a situation itself is sorrowful.

There are times in our lives when we wish that in the future, we'll have days without problems and trials. However, what we don't realize is that these said difficulties that we experience are in fact, helpful to us. We just don't see how they make us a better person. This is because these troubles make us stronger. They cause us to be conscious that we are braver and tougher than we think we are. And lastly, they help us appreciate the happiest moments in our lives.

"We will encounter problems for the rest of our lives but there will be nothing we can't manage."

- Jay McGraw

If we just look at the brighter side, we could see that life is really beautiful, with or without problems.

Solution to my Problems, Answer to my Questions

2008-02-27T08:34:00.009+08:00

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

- James 1:5

Lately, I've been having tough days. School is making me really busy. Sometimes, I can't even do the things that I should prioritize more. Like for example, have some time for my family, read the scriptures or attend church activities. That's why I think I'm becoming less spiritual these past few days... or even months.

I've been also dealing with lots of problems. And most of the time, I think I'm all alone. That no one could help me. But that feeling is wrong. No sooner, I realized that someone is always there for me. Aside from my family and friends, there's someone I could always depend on no matter what happen. And that's our dearest Heavenly Father.

Praying was never a hard thing for me to do. It has always been my first action whenever I experience hardships in life. Every time I pray, I feel closer to our Father in Heaven. I feel safe, secure, and loved.

I know He always listens to and answers our prayers. He's there whenever we need Him. He helps us with our problems. Though often times, we're the one who choose to step away from His presence, Heavenly Father is still there for us.

Even though I'm becoming less and less spiritual these days, I know that Heavenly Father will always be there to guide me and make my testimony strong again if I just ask for his help.

Our dearest Father in Heaven knows what we want even before we ask Him in prayers. But He will not give us what we want unless we ask Him personally through prayers. He wants us to depend on Him. He wants us to always remember Him.

Praying never failed me. Praying has always been and will always be the solution to my problems and the answer to my questions.

Just Friends

2008-02-18T18:54:00.014+08:00

Even though we are not together
I care about you more than ever

-Gary R. Hess

I'm starting to like someone. However, I'm not really sure why but I guess it's because she's nice to me, she makes me laugh and well, she's always there when I need someone to talk to.

However, I'm not planning to tell her how I feel. I am pretty much satisfied with us being just friends.

Missing the guy i used to be

2008-01-27T19:13:00.003+08:00

"Life is about change. Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful. But most of the time it's both."

-Smallville

Has anyone ever told you, you changed? Like, you are not who you used to be. That it seems they do not know you anymore? And the worst part is, they told you that you were so much better before? A friend of mine actually told me those words and I actually didn't believe in her, not until the day I felt my life is starting to become different than before.

When i think about comparing my life now and my life before, I always end up comparing high school and college life. Because as a matter of fact, there are lots of dissimilarity between the two.

I can describe high school as the highlight of my life. Those were the times when I get what I wanted, I can choose whoever I wished to be and do everything I always wanted to do. I was like this really great person whom anyone could actually depend on, someone who people look up to, someone who is a lot better than who I am now. But of course everything perishes... everything changes.

Before, I can talk to people without shyness or without being intimidated. Though I have some flaws, those really don't bother me at all. But things started to change when I entered college. I now see how imperfect I am. And another thing is that, skin problems are all over my face. Then my sickness got worse. It's really depressing most of the time.

Also, some old friends are asking me what happened to me, why I got thinner and why my skin problem is getting terrible. Those issues make me sick. I just smile whenever they ask me those ugly questions but the truth is, it hurts like hell.

A new friend told me that I should not focus on my outward appearance. He also told me that he once felt the same way but he managed to throw those feelings away because he now knows what's more important. But I guess it's not that easy. Especially when I think that everything used to be okay... even perfect.

Moreover, I know I am also not doing great in school. I'm kind of failing some subjects due to some reasons. And man, I was not like this before. School used to be on my top priorities. I can still remember how I do everything just to have the best grades and be one of the top students in my class. But now, I am like this stupid guy who always worries not because he is going to have just a good and not the best grade but if he is going to pass or not.

Attitude is another issue. I can see that these days, I am becoming more and more lazy, I do not set my priorities and I'm always moody.

Sometimes, I feel that I am becoming horrible. That I am really a big ugly person now. And that feeling sucks.

But I guess all I need is time to make everything go back to its old state and just be strong to deal with everything. Also, I think I need to be more optimistic than ever so I can have a peace of mind.

I hardly do not know what these changes could bring more. But I do hope it will be okay soon.

And I've seen their faces and i was like WOAH

2008-01-17T16:34:00.005+08:00

"The only kind of person I would like to be is the kind of person who likes to be me."

-Bushidozen

I was able to watch Eat Bulaga last Monday and good thing I did. And it's because the contestants of their "Dabarkads, you are on the spot" were those fantastic dubbers of soaps and anime. You see, I always wonder how those dubbers look like. I just wanna see how true "great voice = good looks" is. :]

It was really funny at the start of the show. They were like talking using the lines of the characters they dub[bed]. But one thing that really made me say " Oh woah! What the hell... that was extraordinary! " was seeing Ash's [from Pokemon] dubber. But before the spoil... Come on! Tell me the truth. You also think that Ash's voice is really both boyish and childish, right? Well, surprise! Surprise! The dubber is a girl! And man, she is really sweet. If I remember correctly, her name is Klarisa. Heck! I really want to meet that girl in person. She's now my " girl on TV " crush. Lol

Sadly, she's not the one who got the Php25K so she wasn't able to be the jackpot prize contestant. Anyway, there was another pretty girl who dubbed some anime too, girl this time, but I didn't get her name. Too bad.

[New Topic]

Yesterday, I watched the premier night of American Idol season 7. They held their first audition in Phila and as usual, they had a bunch of "auditioners" (uhm ok, there's no such word. But hey! This is my blog. I can make my own dictio. Haha). And the wackos are getting worse than ever. But yeah, it was fun watching them. On the contrary, there were also people who really have a talent in singing. One even sounds like Clay Aiken. Right now, I'm looking forward to it's second part that will be shown tonight.

One last thing... Simon seems to be a little kind this season. :]

[/New Topic]

For it makes the ride worthwhile

2008-01-06T16:08:00.002+08:00

"Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved."

-Victor Hugo

I was never open about any topics that would lead to talking about love or relationships. In fact, I used to say it's an 'icky stuff'. I also once thought that love is a bad thing... or at least that's what telenovelas show. You know, they always show that love can give you endless pain, make you sacrifice even those that are important to you and make you a bad person. It's always like that. Well that was until the day I fell in love for the first time... for real.

Like any other boy, I also had a bunch of crushes. And I tell you, even though those were just some pseudo-love feeling, it got me spending a lot of money. I bought gifts for my crushes, not really expensive ones but those actually waned my allowance. But then, it always doesn't end up well. It's either my feelings for those girls suddenly disappear or they unexpectedly find their real prince charming (whom sometimes my best buds). And because of that, I didn't think that I would ever find someone that's really for me. Also, it kept me believing on what those TV shows tell.

And then one day, I met a girl. She was really different from other girls I used to like. I honestly can't explain why I think of her that way but from that moment, I knew I was in love. And since then I realized that though love can give us unwanted experiences, it can too give us the happiest feelings and emotions that would definitely take your breath away.

If you want to know what happened with that girl and me, unfortunately, it also didn't end up that well. But still, I don't have any grudge on what had happened. It made me understood what really love is. And all I can do is to be grateful that it happened. Because I know someday I'll be able to meet that girl who would love me as much as I love her.

So now, I'm kinda open with that topic. As a matter of fact, I'm currently helping some friends deal with it. And it really feels so good when you know you could help them. I just wish everything would end up well.

New start on old habits

2007-12-31T17:08:00.001+08:00

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.

-Benjamin Franklin

Today is December 31, 2007, my last chance to post an entry for this year. And it's really quite hard to write a year ender entry since a lot of thoughts are running on my mind now. But whenever i start writing, all those thoughts seem to go and disappear. It's kinda weird but it always happens to me. Bummer...

So how was 2007 for me? To tell you that truth, it's not that easy. However, i can still say that it had been a great year even though i experienced tougher problems, issues and responsibilities.

One thing that made this year ok for me is that I graduated last March with flying colors. I wasn't really expecting it though i hoped for it. And i was really happy it did come true because i know i made my family proud.

Also, i got myself entered in one of the most prestigious university in the Philippines. There, i met new people that i know i would always cherish. Honestly, at first i didn't expect that i would like them. If you have read my post entitled "A new beginning", i stated there that "it was a big mistake to study there". But as days went by, i realized i was wrong. They were such lovely people. I think i just had that "my-life-is-perfect-in-high-school-and-i-don't-want-to-move-on" impression. Yeah it was really lame. But atleast i managed to throw that idea away. :]

This year, i learned so many things. I've learned more about love, trust, honesty, faith, life, et al. Most of them i learned through tragic and happy experiences and some are from the TV Series that i've watched. Yeah, you read it right. TV SERIES. Well they're educational too you know! haha.

What i just don't like about this year are those wrong decisions i have made. And the sad part is, i think i'm making "choosing wrong decisions" as a hobby. There are a lot of things i can't take back anymore. And it's really depressing. Another thing is, i usually practice procrastination. I hate it, but i still do it.

So now, i just wish 2008 would be a better year for me. I hope i'll be able to improve all the aspects of my life. Also, i hope i'll be more optimistic than before and be able to set my priorities more clearly.

Happy new year to you!

That 100X100 stuff that makes people go crazy

2007-12-30T21:57:00.003+08:00

"When you put something on the internet today, be ready to see them in different sites tomorrow. "

-Sir C.

Lately, I've been really addicted to a huge number of TV Series and Movies. And in fact, you may always see me in front of our televison or pc monitor.

In line with this addiction of mine, i also have been digging some icons of these series and movies. Check some of these awesome creations that i have found:

Heroes

Smallville

Dawson's Creek

The O.C

One Tree Hill

Star Wars Episode I-III

Closer

[If it happens that you're the fantastic maker of one of these icons, please tell it to me and i'll gladly credit you here.]

For time and all eternity

2007-12-26T18:47:00.002+08:00

"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry."

-Tom Mullen

After so many years of surmounting problems and trials together, my sister, Darlyn, and now brother-in-law, Gilverth, finally decided to become as one and be sealed for time and all eternity as they exchanged vow last Friday, December 21, 2007.

I was really happy seeing my sister marry an amazing guy which has the same faith and standards as we have.

I've been a witness to their roller coaster love story. I've seen them in their happiest and darkest days together. And honestly speaking, i once dreamed of writing their story in a book because it was really different from any other love story i, or maybe even you, have ever seen or heard. And who knows? Maybe i'll be able to do it someday.

The wedding was simple yet holy and sacred. In fact, my sister even told me that what's more important is the ordinance that they did inside the temple rather than the celebration of the wedding itself. And indeed, my sister was right.

It was such a wonderful event.

We are really ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY now

[though Kuya Toto, my 2nd to the eldest sister's hubby, and Dale, his son, were missing. Where could they be? Eating again? lol]

A New Beginning

2007-06-16T19:33:00.001+08:00

"I like waking up in the morning and realizing that i have a new day to face. It makes me feel that i have another chance to prove my worth."

-NhiL

I started my college life already last wednesday. Unlike what i expected before, it was really tiring and a bit confusing.

It was my 4th day in class today. I really don't know if my past few days in that University is exciting and fun or NOT.

There are things that really make me think that it was a big mistake to go and study at the place. But then, there are also things that make me feel to stay there like forever.

_________________________________________________________

To someone:

I'm really glad that i met you. You may not know how I feel whenever you talk to me but i wanna tell you that you really make me happy. You're the only thing that makes me realize why i need to stay in that place. Thank you for that.

Behind every great love is a great love story

2007-05-28T15:44:00.003+08:00

"He made up his mind not to lose her.

He would do anything to keep her."

-The Notebook

I was in a certain "video shop" yesterday looking for a good movie to watch. I was actually planning to rent some comedy movies but then one CD caught my eyes. It was "The Notebook". I was really trying to rent it before since one of my friends told me that it was a great film but I always forgot to do so. So there, I had my chance to finally watch it today.

Well, indeed it was a great film. It's not trite compare to those crappy old romantic movies. It was serious but still not boring. I honestly like it.

So now, I'm once again deeply romantic. Like, hell, I wanna fall in love again --- with the right person this time. The movie just made me realize how wonderful it is to fall in love.

I do salute the man's (Noah) love for the girl (Allie). He even sacrificed his time, effort and family just to be with her. He never loosed hope that someday, somehow, she'll remember him again by reading their love story that she wrote in the notebook.

They both showed love. Love which is forever --- undying. Love which means waiting. Love which stands for what is right. Love that has no boundaries. Love which is true and deep.

The film really do made my day. It even touched me when they died in bed together in the last scene.

I'm also looking forward on the day when I'll find that right girl to whom I will give all my love and life. I just don't know when, where or how. But I know it'll come…

Allie: Do you think that our love could take us away together?

Noah: I think our love can do anything we want it to.

________________________________________________________

Right now I'm hoping to watch some old TV Series like "Wonder Years", "Dawson's Creek", "One Tree Hill" or "Prison Break". If you have any copy of the said series... I'll love you forever. Free french kisses awaits for those who will let me borrow their copies. LMFAO ;]

When your time comes

2007-05-24T22:24:00.003+08:00

" I do not wish my family or friends to wear any badge of mourning for me at my funeral or afterwards, for if I am true and faithful unto death there will be no necessity for anyone to mourn for me."

-President Wilford Woodruff

I was in our store this afternoon when the phone rang. On the line was Christina, my grandparent's hired helper, speaking with an unusual tone. I knew something bad had happened. I just didn’t expect that it was worst than I thought. She told me that my grandfather's heartbeat turned 0. She told me he's dead.

Actually yesterday, I even went to the hospital to see my grandfather. He was already in the ICU for several days. We went there since Christina told us that the doctors already spoke to my grandmother and to my dad and advised them to be ready for whatever that might happen to my grandfather. With the doctor's advice, we were sure that papang (we all call my grandfather papang) was in his last days. But then, mamang, my grandmother, was still strong and still kept on believing that papang will be able to survive his illness and get better. She didn't like what the doctor said. She kept on hoping that papang will get stronger everyday. However, my dad knew that papang's condition is getting worst than ever.

When mamang asked me to come and go to the ICU with her to see papang, I followed her without hesitation. After we entered the ICU, mamang talked to papang in "chabacano" language which I really didn't understand. But then, I knew that mamang was telling papang to wake up and breathe deeply because of her actions. And then, I talked to papang and told him he should get better soon and then we will eat all the things he always wanted. After that, I said goodbye which turned out to be my last words to him.

When we went out the ICU, I saw my father in the chair with a very long face. I honestly didn't know what to tell him. I can't tell him that it’s ok 'cause it's really not ok, that if papang wants to go, we should let him, that papang will be happier in the spirit world, and other things that I really wanted to tell him but I can't since that’s his dad… he doesn't want him to leave us. So I just sat beside my father. We didn't even talk. There was a very long silence until my mom showed up with mamang asking me to go home.

And now, papang is dead. Mamang is really mourning and is getting very emotional. She even said that papang is not happy now since she wasn't able to come with him. She also said that she really wants to go with him. But dad, I know he really doesn't worry much. Yes, he lost his father but it's only for this time. My dad has a great knowledge and faith about the gospel of Jesus Christ and that what's helping him to accept papang's death. He knows what Heavenly Father's plans for us are. My dad even told mamang that we shouldn't question God's decisions for His plans are perfect and good.

Right now, I have mixed emotions for this sad event. Although somehow I do feel sorrowful, it's still ok for me that he is now living peacefully since I know he already suffered much here with his illness and that he really need to go now as part of our Heavenly Father's plan. I also know that someday, we will all meet up again as whole family and will live together eternally.

I really don't consider death as a dreadful thing. Death is just a trial for everyone. It's just a test to us to know if we can live without someone in our lives. Also, death is just a short time separation since we will meet again someday.

In closing, I want to share what Morrie commented about death... "Death ends a life, not a relationship."

We will miss you Papang!

4 Wonder Years

2007-05-22T17:39:00.002+08:00

"I am a part of all that I met."

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

I went to school (the one where I studied high school) yesterday since our adviser last year asked us to help her do some cleaning because it’s "Brigada Eskwela" this week. Honestly I wasn’t really willing to go but then I remembered that I haven’t got my diploma yet. So I had no choice but to go there.

As I went upstairs to our room, I suddenly heard a familiar scream... "Gwapo!". I easily recognized that those were my classmates screaming. Hell! I missed that label. Only 50 persons call me that. And they're my beloved classmates.

After I heard them call me, I hurriedly went downstairs again since they were all in Science Building and not in our old room. Then I hastily helped them cover some old visuals and diorama 'cause I thought our last year adviser will give me my diploma as soon as I finish my work. But then she didn't give it right away for some reasons I really don’t know. So I had a very long time to chat with my classmates again.

It's great seeing them all again. Well, not all actually since some weren't able to come. But those that were there yesterday, I really had so much fun talking and laughing with them again like the old times. Oh man! I really missed those times when we will all just talk and laugh together until our next subject teacher comes. The topics were really not important as long as it's funny and we all know it. Haha... it’s such a good feeling remembering those stuffs.

Wow...now I really miss them all. I do miss all the wacky stuffs we usually, all the jokes, the games, the talk...everything!

Before leaving the school, I looked at our old classroom. It made me smile. It reminded me that it's the place where I spent almost 12 hours of my life 5 days a week with the people I learned to love as my own family.

Now we will live our separate lives again but I'm sure we'll all... I mean ALL... meet again after 10 years. That's our promise. We will keep it.

[Some of our photos in high school during our Senior year]

-Balayan, Batangas-

before my G. Kalikasan Pageant Night

-Jill's House-

first shooting for our Movie Project

-Cavite National High School-

Graduation Day

-Cavite National High School-

After our Grad

-Montano Hall-

Our Last Outing Together

Nature around us

2007-05-21T14:48:00.001+08:00

"To me a lush carpet of pine needles or spongy grass is more welcome than the most luxurious Persian rug."

-Hellen Keller

Have you ever gone outside one night just to stare at those glittering stars? Have you ever played in the street while the rain is pouring on you and felt happy? Have you ever walked under a cherry blossom tree and got amazed by the leaves that fell on you?

On the first two, I did! It’s a simple thing but then those simple things made me happy in times when I’m disappointed or feeling down. And the third one is my wish. I’m really looking forward on that day when I’ll be able to go to Japan and be amazed by that lovely tree.

I’m such a nature lover. Nature gives me the joy, the love, the peace and the hope I need. I can’t even imagine life without it.

Isn’t it wonderful to have these beautiful things around us? Even those little things like the raindrops on your face, the songs of the birds, the rainbow in the sky or the grass in your feet make the world a better place to live in.

I’m truly happy that Heavenly Father has given us this nature we have now. It always reminds me of He’s great love for us.

[Along with this post, I wanna share you a children’s song that inspired me to write this entry. It’s entitled “Heavenly Father Loves Me”]

Whenever I hear the song of a bird
Or look at the blue, blue sky
Whenever I feel the rain on my face
Or the wind as it rushes by
Whenever I touch a velvet rose
Or walk by a lilac tree
I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world
Heave’ly Father created for me

He gave me my eyes that I might see
The colors of butterfly wings
He gave me ears that I might hear
The magical sound of things
He gave my heart, my mind, my life
I thank Him reverently
With all these creations which I am a part
Yes I know Heave’ly Father loves me

Happy 18th!

2007-05-17T19:20:00.002+08:00

"My friends are few but altogether SUFFICIENT."

My friends and I went to SM Bacoor yesterday to celebrate Anna May's 18th birthday. When we arrived in the mall, we immediately bought her a cake and ate it right away in the food court since they were already craving for it and couldn’t wait any longer. Then, we surprised her with a birthday program that we held inside the karaoke room. We danced, sang, and acted like retarded people. Haha x]

After that, some of us went shopping (honestly I didn't since I just brought enough money 'cause they didn't even tell me that they're going to shop after the celebration). And since we were already in the mall, I did my favorite thing… put on some perfume testers. Man! Some of Bench's colognes and perfumes were really awesome although some smells like isopropyl alcohols. Haha

We also had this long photoshoot inside the mall. We even bothered to ask some people that passed by to take us pictures. Luckily, all those people whom we asked agreed to help. But, there was a guy who refused our plea… he thought we were asking him to take him a picture. LMFAO :]

All in all, we really had fun yesterday. And the fact that the people you are with are your true friends who have the same faith and standards as yours made it more enjoyable. However, it could have been more fun if our other friends were there but they weren't able to come for some reasons.

Now, I am wondering when we're gonna do that again since classes will be starting next month. But I do hope we'll do that again soon. And I also do hope that our other friends will be able to come in our next hang outs.