Thursday, January 12, 2012
Debugging Backstage
"I can't imagine anything more worthwhile than doing what I most love. And they pay me for it."
-Edgar Winter
The Leadership Training went good; I was so energized and inspired to do better, just what I need for my remaining five months of work here. I say it's one of the best training sessions I've attended so far.
The food that was served was better than expected. I actually proposed to our President last Staff Meeting to replace the caterer due to previous problems we had with their choice of entrée and utensils but, they definitely revived their reputation yesterday.
My workshop went perfect. I actually felt a guiding hand when I was preparing the outline at 5:00 AM in the morning and while doing the actual workshop. It's so good to know that I got some divine help, for I know I could never deliver such a discussion relying on my talents and abilities alone.
I discussed three possible reasons why some people aren't doing the things they should be doing and not being who they should be, namely:
First, they don't know "it". Second, they don't understand the point. Third, they don't love "it". ("it" being the thing they should be actively engaged in and/or the person they should be)
The food that was served was better than expected. I actually proposed to our President last Staff Meeting to replace the caterer due to previous problems we had with their choice of entrée and utensils but, they definitely revived their reputation yesterday.
My workshop went perfect. I actually felt a guiding hand when I was preparing the outline at 5:00 AM in the morning and while doing the actual workshop. It's so good to know that I got some divine help, for I know I could never deliver such a discussion relying on my talents and abilities alone.
I discussed three possible reasons why some people aren't doing the things they should be doing and not being who they should be, namely:
First, they don't know "it". Second, they don't understand the point. Third, they don't love "it". ("it" being the thing they should be actively engaged in and/or the person they should be)
To be able to empathize with those kinds of people, I thought of a part of my life when I've been, more or less, acting like them. And quickly, I remembered my college days.
They Don't Know "It"
I took up BS Computer Science in the University of Santo Tomas. It wasn't what I really wanted but my dad and sisters greatly encouraged me that I take it up and being an all-too-dependent person I am to my parents and siblings (even when it comes to decision making), without courage to say "no" to what they say I should do, I chose it.
I like doing things in cyberspace, i.e blogging, chatting and social networking. However, I was never interested to use the C Language (for I cannot even master the English language yet) nor debug a program which is like finding a needle in a haystack. I think I wasted my first few months in college whining about my decision and asking myself, "Why am I taking this boring and nonsense course?", even though my sister always tells me how much I could get paid someday. I didn't really know why Computer Programming was (and probably, still is) such a good course. Never did I done any research to at least know the standpoint of my concerned family. So, I ended up not being serious to my studies and just trying to make my way through the exams without really understanding Computer Programming.
They Don't Understand the Point
After several months of attending lectures and seminars, I finally came to realize how good BS CS is. However, like any Filipino soap opera when the premise is about to be concluded yet the show is at it's peek and gaining much fan-base, another barrier entered my mind. "Okay, now I understand why I should take this course. But what's the point of taking it? I mean, so what if I'll get a high-paying job someday? Would it really matter? All I want is a simple life in a suburb."
I was such a myopic teenager. Slow, I've been, to get the point of what my family wants for me. I wasn't really thinking how hard life is nowadays; that normal paychecks of the old world has turned meager income in the new world; that simple life now comprises of necessities which used to be called luxuries.
They Don't Love "It"
As I have mentioned, I'm not a computer person. I actually prefer Theater Arts or Speech Communication than printf and brackets. So even though I have learned many things about how marvelous PCs were made and how fulfilling it is to create an ATM-like programs with all its creative designs (after taking a few pills of Isometheptene), my heart still yearned for stage performances and radio dramas. I continued to watch Hamlet than Howe and Howe Tech , read 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens than The Complete Idiot's Guide to Java. That, I believe, is the biggest reason why I never excelled in my major subjects yet aced my English 101 and English Lit classes. I knew, even before, that I won't be able to exert much effort studying things I don't love.
I was actually happy when doing the workshop because 1. I really love giving out talks, seminars and lead discussions and 2. I did not just learn from others' answers and ideas but, surprisingly, 3. learned some things even from myself that I didn't know I knew before.
Surely, I'm ready for BYU-Hawaii. (if you find that totally unrelated, well, I believe you're right)
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"chairs"
Labels: Choices, Courage, Family, Life, Love, Mission, School, Spiritual
on 10:44 AM
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
In the middle
there in
a crowded
open field
i sat
between
two lovers
exquisite faces,
alluring voices
there where
fireworks
are magical
i sat
between
two lovers
confused
and uncertain,
no goodbyes,
no, not yet
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"Three colours"
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
A+ Creatures
"Living in an age of advertisement, we are perpetually disillusioned."
-Joseph Priestly
Oh Kens & Barbies,
why not
wear your
invisibility cloaks?
Even just for today?
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"Lookin' skinny like a model."
Monday, February 14, 2011
Locked Heart. Open Eyes.
“When the sparrow sings its final refrain, the hush is felt nowhere more deeply than in the heart of man.”
-Don Williams Jr.
One year later,
I'm still an audience.
No gold ticket
for two hours.
For now, i'll just sit here
behind the barricades.
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"Eyes see 1"
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Red stain
"Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap."
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Go celebrate while I sleep the whole day.
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"My Valentine"
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
That ONE Song
Just when you thought you're strong enough to move on, you'll suddenly hear that particular song.
And you'll remember the face.
The face you're trying to forget.
And it'll hurt.
You'll feel the ache.
And you're vulnerable once again.
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"The songs are about you"
Friday, December 18, 2009
Kiss Me Under a Mistletoe
"This is the part where you sing I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus."
I just wanna know how it feels.
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"M i s t l e t o e"
Monday, December 7, 2009
I Used to Walk Over the Clouds. I Will Once Again.
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
I'm done being a desperate, hopeless, emotional, stupid, pathetic, weak, gullible 19-year old guy.
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"Cryptonite Man"
Labels: Courage, Life, Love, Problems, Strength
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Third Year Thing
Dear Fire Works,
I'm sorry, I don't think I'd be able to keep my promise.
I would probably watch you on the 18th alone. As always.
(Well, okay, I wouldn't be really alone since I'm sure my friends would be there beside me during your show.
But you get what I mean.)
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
"Fire Works 2"
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Run away
"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."
another minute spent thinking about you.
i just want my thoughts of you to stop.
i just want my thoughts of you to stop.
Friday, September 18, 2009
I am an Island
"At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world [...] Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one."
- One Tree Hill
- One Tree Hill
I'm so tired of being alone.
Where are you?
Thursday, August 20, 2009
The flames of my candles are dying
Sometimes I wish i had never met you. Because then i could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.
- Good Will Hunting
- Good Will Hunting
I can't do this anymore.
______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
Mystic200
"Dead End"
Friday, August 14, 2009
Hello Wednesday!
“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”
I will no longer hold my words.
I will no longer keep my secret.
I want you.
_______________________________________________________________
Photo by:
Tracie76
"Speak Your Mind"
Labels: Choices, Courage, Life, Love
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
When life starts to change big time
"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
- Arnold Bennett
- Arnold Bennett
It's been quite a long time since I last posted an entry here. I never even thought that I would be here again, sitting in front of my computer, wanting to relive the things that had happened over the last 8 months of my life. And to tell you honestly, I miss blogging.
Before I start storytelling about my life here, I would first want to let you know that I was (and still am, actually) really, really surprised to see how much things had changed here (the blog-o-sphere, I mean). The first thing I noticed is that, those bloggers that I used to know changed how they write. Some changed from writing life stories to just posting poems and photos- which made me not interested anymore. Another thing is, most of the links on my blogroll no longer exist. Oh boy! That is truly sad. I miss reading their beautifully written blogs. They used to inspire me. I’m now hoping that they just changed their blog URLs and I would be able to find their blogs once again.
Talking about changes, I too had experience and still is experiencing a lot of them in my life since last summer up to now. Let me enumerate them:
1. I didn't attend summer classes (which I should have attended) but instead chose to go to Singapore so that I could relax and forget all about the bad things that had happened- which made me an irregular student for the rest of my college life.
2. I auditioned for Teatro Tomasino, the University-wide theater guild in UST, and was given the name YOO for some reason I don't want to tell anymore because it was a dumb story (seriously). I was then asked to join their first major production for this year as a part of their requirements for membership. Eventually, I got assigned to be both an Assistant Stage Manager and an actor to the play "Fuente Ovejuna" directed Mr. Dennis Marasigan – which gave me sleepless nights, no time to study, and made me went home late (around 1-2 AM). But don't get me wrong, the experience I had is still unforgettable and amazing.
3. I quitted participating in Teatro Tomasino's production. (Does failing Calculus not a good reason enough?)
4. I lost my best friend in a My-Best-Friend's-Wedding-kind of way (except for the "wedding" part). Gotta start singing "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall, I guess.
NOTE: I'll just blog this stuff next time 'cause I don't feel like telling it now. I guess I’m still not over her.
5. I did something horrible that I never thought I could ever do in my entire life. And you know what? It made me unable to function for a week.
6. I'm not that optimistic anymore.
7. I feel more alone these days.
8. I don't think I write as good as I used to.
Changes... changes... changes...
Those things I have mentioned are just a part of the looooong list. Unfortunately, most of those are not so good changes. But then I wonder, don't all of those changes also made me a much stronger person? Did they happen because I needed to learn something? And, don't I deserve those changes?
_______________________________________________________________
Before I start storytelling about my life here, I would first want to let you know that I was (and still am, actually) really, really surprised to see how much things had changed here (the blog-o-sphere, I mean). The first thing I noticed is that, those bloggers that I used to know changed how they write. Some changed from writing life stories to just posting poems and photos- which made me not interested anymore. Another thing is, most of the links on my blogroll no longer exist. Oh boy! That is truly sad. I miss reading their beautifully written blogs. They used to inspire me. I’m now hoping that they just changed their blog URLs and I would be able to find their blogs once again.
Talking about changes, I too had experience and still is experiencing a lot of them in my life since last summer up to now. Let me enumerate them:
1. I didn't attend summer classes (which I should have attended) but instead chose to go to Singapore so that I could relax and forget all about the bad things that had happened- which made me an irregular student for the rest of my college life.
2. I auditioned for Teatro Tomasino, the University-wide theater guild in UST, and was given the name YOO for some reason I don't want to tell anymore because it was a dumb story (seriously). I was then asked to join their first major production for this year as a part of their requirements for membership. Eventually, I got assigned to be both an Assistant Stage Manager and an actor to the play "Fuente Ovejuna" directed Mr. Dennis Marasigan – which gave me sleepless nights, no time to study, and made me went home late (around 1-2 AM). But don't get me wrong, the experience I had is still unforgettable and amazing.
3. I quitted participating in Teatro Tomasino's production. (Does failing Calculus not a good reason enough?)
4. I lost my best friend in a My-Best-Friend's-Wedding-kind of way (except for the "wedding" part). Gotta start singing "I'll Be Okay" by Amanda Marshall, I guess.
NOTE: I'll just blog this stuff next time 'cause I don't feel like telling it now. I guess I’m still not over her.
5. I did something horrible that I never thought I could ever do in my entire life. And you know what? It made me unable to function for a week.
6. I'm not that optimistic anymore.
7. I feel more alone these days.
8. I don't think I write as good as I used to.
Changes... changes... changes...
Those things I have mentioned are just a part of the looooong list. Unfortunately, most of those are not so good changes. But then I wonder, don't all of those changes also made me a much stronger person? Did they happen because I needed to learn something? And, don't I deserve those changes?
_______________________________________________________________
Labels: Change, Choices, Life, Love, Optimism, Problems, School, Teatro
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Solution to my Problems, Answer to my Questions
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."
- James 1:5
- James 1:5
Lately, I've been having tough days. School is making me really busy. Sometimes, I can't even do the things that I should prioritize more. Like for example, have some time for my family, read the scriptures or attend church activities. That's why I think I'm becoming less spiritual these past few days... or even months.
I've been also dealing with lots of problems. And most of the time, I think I'm all alone. That no one could help me. But that feeling is wrong. No sooner, I realized that someone is always there for me. Aside from my family and friends, there's someone I could always depend on no matter what happen. And that's our dearest Heavenly Father.
Praying was never a hard thing for me to do. It has always been my first action whenever I experience hardships in life. Every time I pray, I feel closer to our Father in Heaven. I feel safe, secure, and loved.
I know He always listens to and answers our prayers. He's there whenever we need Him. He helps us with our problems. Though often times, we're the one who choose to step away from His presence, Heavenly Father is still there for us.
Even though I'm becoming less and less spiritual these days, I know that Heavenly Father will always be there to guide me and make my testimony strong again if I just ask for his help.
Our dearest Father in Heaven knows what we want even before we ask Him in prayers. But He will not give us what we want unless we ask Him personally through prayers. He wants us to depend on Him. He wants us to always remember Him.
Praying never failed me. Praying has always been and will always be the solution to my problems and the answer to my questions.
I've been also dealing with lots of problems. And most of the time, I think I'm all alone. That no one could help me. But that feeling is wrong. No sooner, I realized that someone is always there for me. Aside from my family and friends, there's someone I could always depend on no matter what happen. And that's our dearest Heavenly Father.
Praying was never a hard thing for me to do. It has always been my first action whenever I experience hardships in life. Every time I pray, I feel closer to our Father in Heaven. I feel safe, secure, and loved.
I know He always listens to and answers our prayers. He's there whenever we need Him. He helps us with our problems. Though often times, we're the one who choose to step away from His presence, Heavenly Father is still there for us.
Even though I'm becoming less and less spiritual these days, I know that Heavenly Father will always be there to guide me and make my testimony strong again if I just ask for his help.
Our dearest Father in Heaven knows what we want even before we ask Him in prayers. But He will not give us what we want unless we ask Him personally through prayers. He wants us to depend on Him. He wants us to always remember Him.
Praying never failed me. Praying has always been and will always be the solution to my problems and the answer to my questions.
Labels: Church, Faith, God, Life, Love, Optimism, Prayer, Problems, School, Spiritual, Testimony
Monday, February 18, 2008
Just Friends
Even though we are not together
I care about you more than ever
I care about you more than ever
-Gary R. Hess
I'm starting to like someone. However, I'm not really sure why but I guess it's because she's nice to me, she makes me laugh and well, she's always there when I need someone to talk to.
However, I'm not planning to tell her how I feel. I am pretty much satisfied with us being just friends.
However, I'm not planning to tell her how I feel. I am pretty much satisfied with us being just friends.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
For it makes the ride worthwhile
I was never open about any topics that would lead to talking about love or relationships. In fact, I used to say it's an 'icky stuff'. I also once thought that love is a bad thing... or at least that's what telenovelas show. You know, they always show that love can give you endless pain, make you sacrifice even those that are important to you and make you a bad person. It's always like that. Well that was until the day I fell in love for the first time... for real.
Like any other boy, I also had a bunch of crushes. And I tell you, even though those were just some pseudo-love feeling, it got me spending a lot of money. I bought gifts for my crushes, not really expensive ones but those actually waned my allowance. But then, it always doesn't end up well. It's either my feelings for those girls suddenly disappear or they unexpectedly find their real prince charming (whom sometimes my best buds). And because of that, I didn't think that I would ever find someone that's really for me. Also, it kept me believing on what those TV shows tell.
And then one day, I met a girl. She was really different from other girls I used to like. I honestly can't explain why I think of her that way but from that moment, I knew I was in love. And since then I realized that though love can give us unwanted experiences, it can too give us the happiest feelings and emotions that would definitely take your breath away.
If you want to know what happened with that girl and me, unfortunately, it also didn't end up that well. But still, I don't have any grudge on what had happened. It made me understood what really love is. And all I can do is to be grateful that it happened. Because I know someday I'll be able to meet that girl who would love me as much as I love her.
So now, I'm kinda open with that topic. As a matter of fact, I'm currently helping some friends deal with it. And it really feels so good when you know you could help them. I just wish everything would end up well.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
For time and all eternity
"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry."-Tom Mullen
After so many years of surmounting problems and trials together, my sister, Darlyn, and now brother-in-law, Gilverth, finally decided to become as one and be sealed for time and all eternity as they exchanged vow last Friday, December 21, 2007.
I was really happy seeing my sister marry an amazing guy which has the same faith and standards as we have.
I've been a witness to their roller coaster love story. I've seen them in their happiest and darkest days together. And honestly speaking, i once dreamed of writing their story in a book because it was really different from any other love story i, or maybe even you, have ever seen or heard. And who knows? Maybe i'll be able to do it someday.
The wedding was simple yet holy and sacred. In fact, my sister even told me that what's more important is the ordinance that they did inside the temple rather than the celebration of the wedding itself. And indeed, my sister was right.
It was such a wonderful event.
We are really ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY now
[though Kuya Toto, my 2nd to the eldest sister's hubby, and Dale, his son, were missing. Where could they be? Eating again? lol]
Labels: Family, Life, Love, Marriage
Monday, May 28, 2007
Behind every great love is a great love story
"He made up his mind not to lose her.He would do anything to keep her."
-The Notebook
I was in a certain "video shop" yesterday looking for a good movie to watch. I was actually planning to rent some comedy movies but then one CD caught my eyes. It was "The Notebook". I was really trying to rent it before since one of my friends told me that it was a great film but I always forgot to do so. So there, I had my chance to finally watch it today.
Well, indeed it was a great film. It's not trite compare to those crappy old romantic movies. It was serious but still not boring. I honestly like it.
So now, I'm once again deeply romantic. Like, hell, I wanna fall in love again --- with the right person this time. The movie just made me realize how wonderful it is to fall in love.
I do salute the man's (Noah) love for the girl (Allie). He even sacrificed his time, effort and family just to be with her. He never loosed hope that someday, somehow, she'll remember him again by reading their love story that she wrote in the notebook.
They both showed love. Love which is forever --- undying. Love which means waiting. Love which stands for what is right. Love that has no boundaries. Love which is true and deep.
The film really do made my day. It even touched me when they died in bed together in the last scene.
I'm also looking forward on the day when I'll find that right girl to whom I will give all my love and life. I just don't know when, where or how. But I know it'll come…
Allie: Do you think that our love could take us away together?
Noah: I think our love can do anything we want it to.
________________________________________________________
Right now I'm hoping to watch some old TV Series like "Wonder Years", "Dawson's Creek", "One Tree Hill" or "Prison Break". If you have any copy of the said series... I'll love you forever. Free french kisses awaits for those who will let me borrow their copies. LMFAO ;]